Good Questions
Spinning Girl commented on my previous post and asked some good questions.
" Hmmm. I guess the obvious question would be, why is he in prison?"
The 'why' has to do with some forgery he did when he was much younger. He was foolish, then he left the state during his probationary period. I've known people who've done much worse who've never gotten caught. If he was there for violence or something else I personally will not tolerate, I would not be waiting for or writing to him.
"If I were in this situation, I most definitely could not tell my mother. She would never understand and would fear for my safety and my heart."
I've actually told my mother and my father and they're very concerned, but they like that we're getting to know each other by letters. Also, they're glad he's a guy. (The fact that I'm bisexual has never gone over very well with my Southern Baptist parents.) I think the fact that he's thousands of miles away helps. If he was in Illinois or even Indiana or Iowa, he'd be much easier to go visit and that might cause them more concern than being in Idaho.* My folks have always had the policy of letting me sort through my own messes, but being there for me during the fall out... and then preaching at me about the path I've chosen. They mean well and I love them for it.
"I suspect that most of the people in your life don't understand also? "
I don't think anybody truly understands, I don't even understand completely, but my closest friends are very supportive. It helps that my best friend met him and liked him.
Every relationship I've ever had, especially the romantic ones, have had an element of the strange. It's not a perfect situation, but what is? I have told him, once he's out if he lands himself back in jail or if he steals, lies or cheats we're through.
* Woo-hoo! I got all the 'I' states in this one!
" Hmmm. I guess the obvious question would be, why is he in prison?"
The 'why' has to do with some forgery he did when he was much younger. He was foolish, then he left the state during his probationary period. I've known people who've done much worse who've never gotten caught. If he was there for violence or something else I personally will not tolerate, I would not be waiting for or writing to him.
"If I were in this situation, I most definitely could not tell my mother. She would never understand and would fear for my safety and my heart."
I've actually told my mother and my father and they're very concerned, but they like that we're getting to know each other by letters. Also, they're glad he's a guy. (The fact that I'm bisexual has never gone over very well with my Southern Baptist parents.) I think the fact that he's thousands of miles away helps. If he was in Illinois or even Indiana or Iowa, he'd be much easier to go visit and that might cause them more concern than being in Idaho.* My folks have always had the policy of letting me sort through my own messes, but being there for me during the fall out... and then preaching at me about the path I've chosen. They mean well and I love them for it.
"I suspect that most of the people in your life don't understand also? "
I don't think anybody truly understands, I don't even understand completely, but my closest friends are very supportive. It helps that my best friend met him and liked him.
Every relationship I've ever had, especially the romantic ones, have had an element of the strange. It's not a perfect situation, but what is? I have told him, once he's out if he lands himself back in jail or if he steals, lies or cheats we're through.
* Woo-hoo! I got all the 'I' states in this one!
posted by Ninian at 10:51 AM
3 Comments:
I am really glad you wrote this post. I have been thinking about you & your situation all day. In the gray areas of life there is room for all sorts of relationships to develop; nothing is perfect, and we can't compartmentalize life anyhow. I am glad that he is a good person and is trying to improve upon past bad choices. I'm also happy to hear that you are looking at it with eyes wide open.
I plan to come back here & read your whole blog, eventually. Don't post too often, then I can catch up. :)
Thank you for your questions! It's a weird situation that I don't have a problem writing about it, but can't help but wonder: Am I overstepping my bounds of sharing? (Since it's his situation as well.) & Does anybody even want to hear about it?
But then I think, well, it's also my situation and if I wasn't me, I sure as hell would be fascinated.
As for reading my blog, I'm glad you like it! Take all the time you need. I'll be reading your blog too. ;>
I think you can share as much as you are comfortable sharing. Personally, I haven't gotten bored yet. I did a smidge more sharing than I expected in my own blog, myself, recently. Perhaps now that we have a feel for who our readers are, we have gotten comfortable enuf to share. Kinda funny, really.
Miz Dagmar
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