a rant on driving

I use to hate driving. I didn't even get my license until I was almost 18 and that was mostly because everyone else was sick of dragging my ass around. Plus, I'm dyslexic and while it's something I've learned to work with in almost every area of my life, it's a real hazard when traveling. Maps give me headaches and whenever anyone says, "it's real easy to find," I hear it as, "if you get lost, you're a complete moron." And I most often will get lost, especially if the direction givers* refuse to write down the directions, or are unwilling to wait for me to get a piece of paper so I can write them down. "It's only three turns, you can't miss it," translates to, "there are three turns for you to take wrong and you'll be laughed at severely for missing it."

I can laugh at myself in just about any situation and I often laugh at myself when I get lost. But sometimes... some times, I get so frustrated. Like last summer. I was driving to Lothlorien, the pagan camping grounds I've been to several times and even driven to by myself, and I got lost. I actually cried. It wasn't an, "oh, boo-hoo poor me..." It was a fury filled frustration of, "goddamnit, I'm such a fucking idiot!"

This summer however, I managed not to get lost and actually rerouted myself off the stupid path MapQuest** put me on and made my way to and from a graduation party in a town I'd never even heard of. Others followed the MapQuest route and got lost. I felt like such a bad ass... Unfortunately, no one appreciated it quite as much as I did. But that's okay. Sometimes these small victories are best kept secret... or to tell those really close to you who truly understand and then blog about later.

I've been having thoughts lately about getting rid of my car. I can bike. I mean, I'm probably too out of shape to take the hour-long trek out to the El stop closest to my house right now, but I've been working towards becoming more fit... well, sort of. And, as long as it's in the city, I can use the El. I also need to get my bike fixed. But it's all totally doable.

However, today I came to a strange realization... I no longer hate driving. I don't know what changed, but even the act of driving itself has become a pleasure. Even sitting in traffic, I enjoy the hum of the car and making up stories for all the random cars and their occupants around me. Plus, when I get lost, I discover all sorts of new and fascinating things*** that I would have otherwise never come across.

I'm also in love with Lake Michigan. It's one of those far off, drive by and smell her fragrance / admire her ever changing colors kind of loves. But sometime this summer, I might have to plunge her depths and let her know how I feel. If I take the El, I won't be as close to her as I am when I drive down LSD... It's quite a quandary I'm in.

* the one solace I have with these unsympathetic direction givers is that if they ever ride with me, they will suddenly find themselves exploring new terrain. And unlike yours truly who most often just gets comfortable and enjoys the scenery, they become tense and upset and frazzled. It's not that I try to fuck with their internal compass, it just happens. Few can thwart my powers of chaotic travel! (I know I sure can't.)

** by the way, have you ever wondered why MapQuest gives the most bass-akwards ways to get to places? Well, I've figured it out! It's Map QUEST... quest as unto a expedition of great significance. Or as The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition defines it, "the act or an instance of seeking or pursuing something; a search." If they give you a direct route, then it's no longer a quest.

*** My favorite, to date, is the horse sculpture made entirely of car parts, mostly mufflers. Unfortunately, since I found it when I was lost, I have not a clue where it is. (Somewhere it Chicago?) Hey, if anyone reading this knows where it is, let me know. Thanks!